After waiting at HF bus interchange for half an hour wishing i was in the sky(cable car; i am not Nathan Petrelli), i finally stepped aboard the freeeging bus. The bus driver took fifteen minutes to shut off the engine, get down the two steps, walk to the toilet, unzip his pants(no, no, see no evil), P-E-E, zip it back, walk out of the toilet, walk back to the bus, and switch on the engines.
Very impressive.
Ten minutes late and i didn't call to inform, cause i was pretty captivated by the onroad scenery. And what a way to meet one half of my employer for the first time.
Rambles into the shop, "Sorry i'm late".
"Can you put your bag down".
PLONK, wee bit too loud perhaps.
"Can you tidy up your hair, it's very messy".
HELL NO, BITCH! IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!111111onetwo STYLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111
Obviously the above sentence is not in inverted commas so you get it i guess.
Snoreszxzxzzsxzsz.
Nothing peculiar really.
And so i embarked on the journey home. Opp Catholic JC omg that place is so romantic w0rsxxzsxzsxz. After waiting for half an hour or so(i tend to exaggerate in moments of injustice), the 156 came flying in the speed of light. I got up i SWEAR, to let the blindo driver see there is a person standing right before him, but he zoomed past meh. Nehmind, he looked back in agony(say 'awwwwwwwwwww') and the last moments before he turned back to the road i mouthed the seven sinful words. Certainly hope he saw it.
While we end the daily recorded events, we proceed. Just 'proceed' p-r-o-c-e-e-d yes.
Case Study 1: Increase In Rheumatism Cases by 2041
By 2041, an estimated 76% of the age group 50-80 would suffer from rheumatism. Scientists have observed that the less-than-generous seats in public buses will be a contributing factor to the increase of cases of the disorder which the aged are most prone to...
The findings suggest that majority of the 76% take buses on a daily basis, while those from the remaining quarter use private transport or take the train more regularly than taking the bus...
A survey conducted by the Centre Of Old People's Illnesses reveals that more than 67% of the population finds that the bus seats are too tightly-spaced apart for comfort...
Dr. Boo Har See, an osteoporosisist from BHS Limited & Co. Ptd. explains that when the knee comes tight with the back of the seat from where the subject is seated, combined with the staccato braking of the buses(due to errant bus drivers tyvm), bone tissues get worn off, as
(you get the picture :])Dr. Boo's clinic has seen an increase in the amount of patients seeking treatment for rheumatism, where in serious cases patients have to get their legs amputated. Adults as young as 36 years old have came forward to seek treatment as well, which leads Dr. Boo to think that premature aging comes into the picture as well...
However, not all is lost. Dr. Boo suggests taking the train over the bus. Otherwise, you can have your legs surgically shortened at his branch clinic which specialises in cosmetic surgery. The last resort is not to go out at all, because after all we live in a very dangerous planet.
At the end of the day, it's all about caring for your body, Dr. Boo says.
Remember, as the old saying goes, "prevention is better than cure".
ASTERISK-ASTERISK-ASTERISK.
VERY IMPORTANT NOTICE: DO NOT CONTINUE IF YOU ARE AGAINST RACISM.
Case Study 2: Different Moral & Aesthetic Values In Our Countrymen?
It is not the first time that a difference between the different races has surfaced in sunny Singapore. After all, we are a young country with past examples of racial conflicts...
The matter at hand involves people asking "do our darker('darkest' is more appropriate)-skinned companions think they smell good?". An anonymous writer has written to The Straightjacket Times about his/her negavity about "how they smell". Our anonymous writer expressed that he/she feels that our darker-skinned buddies(DSB) "thinks they smell good, but they actually pollute the air". Below is an excerpt of the letter from him/her, as requested by the reader himself/herself.
"
Dear Sir/Madam,
I was on the bus on my way home the other night. Everything was fine until one of our darker-skinned buddies(i call them DSB) came aboard. She was sitting directly in front of me and immediately(well, almost) i caught a whiff of the 'typical' smell coming from her. Mind you, it comes in successive waves!
I mean, i've had this question for years. Do our DSBs really think they smell good? It is so prevalent that it has lead me into thinking that it is a mating scent. In addition, it is more strongly spotted(sniffed) on adults. However, social experiment(s) and discussion(s) have proven otherwise. I can only conclude that DSBs' are trained since young to accept the fact that this is how they should smell like.
On the other hand, it is a relief that certain more compassionate and self-conscious ones move to the back of the vehicle. I utmostly appreciate and applaud their samaritanical efforts.
I just need a place to rant. I do not have any intention of starting a racial conflict.
TYVM.
Ex's and Oh's,
An Anonym"
Fridge time.
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