MOVED.

MOVE ALONG?

Shhhhhhhhhhhh.

Making something big. Stupendous. Magnificient. Phenomenal. Prodigious. Sublime. Rad.

PSYCHED!

Oil the machines, let's set sail.

OMG I FEEL LIKE CHOPPING OFF MY FINGERS CAUSE THEY JUST DON'T LISTEN AND WON'T STOP PROCRASTINATING.

SCROLL, TYPE, CLICKING ON OTHER WINDOWS THAT HAVE GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH WORK.

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

After almost being knocked down by a taxi just, i have since learnt not to eat currypuff while jaywalking.

The tremendous yelling of 'EH, EH, EH!' from some malay guy behind my back when the incident(thank goodness, not 'accident') happened seem to make it a miracle that i am still alive.

Yes.

COBRA STARSHIP: Word For 2008


COBRA STARSHIP: Jumbotron Gag Reel

Afterthought

Photoshop ain't that bad after all.

I won't elaborate as it is probable that self-praising will be executed along the way. :) [i refuse to use a different orientation for my smilehs!!!!!!!!11111111 D:<]

Fifteen minutes to i-should-have-been-asleep-and-awoken-by-the-dang-alarm-clock time.

Owellz. Time made good by exploring the vast iTunes library.

Power up, full-force, mah friday.

Sleeping With Giants

Aurelia.


It's amazing how i never got my heart 'broken', looking at the amount of tyos falling all out of love. They are more experienced than me in this specialism of life, are they not.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
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wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

And i nevah get pms/moodysweeeeeeeeeengs!!!1111111111111111

Spasms of mild emoquestonecassitaneousity at most.

Owell.

WAIT! Allow me to write down the events of my life word-for-word like a normal blogger for a while.

[Dear Diary,

Yesterday was the Graduates' Fashion Show and i helped out as a dresser, basically it was free labour; a lot of bodies, a lot of backstage chaos; my model Sona K is from Slovakia and she is sixteen years old, it was pretty cool that we got to collect a lot of gorgeous badges however i was damn tired and i skipped school today, it feels good but i have yet to do anything for tomorrow's presentation and i think i'm so screwed but i'm in the midst of packing my room so i'm at a lost but that's about it thankyouverymuchiloveyoukkkbye but ohmy this is such a poor example of how written english should be like but whatever i dont care much anyway.

XOXO,
Writer]

Okay.

If you are quite free, go to Wake Me Up Music(Fueled By Ramen fakie!), a local 'indie'(i ask furiously for a few times too many 'IS THERE EVEN A MAINSTREAM MARKET HERE?!?!///') label. Ignore the grammatical error of under RENOVATION instead of under CONSTRUCTION, bad webpage design, and the multi-pixelated/grainy-which-falls-short-of-being-artistic photograph, go follow the instructions they have there, the whole clicking of the photograph activiteh and so on.

And laugh at our own countrymen trying to create something big.

BIG joke of themselves perhaps, in which they would have aptly suceeded.

Your walk is: Curiously Proper Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Ka Sia's lame-ass excuse to break up: "My imaginary friend is jealous of you" 'What is your lame-ass excuse to break up?' at QuizGalaxy.com

	Ka Sia made billions from creating a pill that makes people be happy constantly.
	... afterward, Ka Sia decided to marry their imaginary friend.
	'How will you be remembered in history books?' at QuizGalaxy.com

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

What's with the imaginary friends.

	Ka Sia Pills: Will cause you to scream at nothing and run around like a lunatic
	'What effect do you have on people?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Well, well.

You are 55% Emo You are pretty Emo. You like the music, styles and way of life but it doesn’t really control your life. There is more to you than just another cute Emo face. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

When are quizzes ever true.

Anyway while particpating in my favourite activity a few days ago, i made a surprise discovery which left me awe-struck.

Gabe Saporta (born October 11, 1979 in Montevideo, Uruguay)

Well what can i say. HELLO, FELLOW SCHECKSAY!!!!!111111

And the likes of Sean Patrick Flanery, Michelle Trachtenberg, Mark Zito and Michelle Wie.

Wiki power, and BrainyHistory gives a veh long list.


Looking through my pictures folder, i stumbled upon some hidden/forgotten treasure.


Erm.

Hi, you know i don't really like multiple posting but i don't care i have made a discovery, you see after some pretty intense dog-wrestling and eating frog porridge without the frog and sharing our food with two very pretty stray cats with mesmerising eyes at geylang, we proceeded to fruit-shopping and i discovered that the grape is an extravagant fruit at $8.00 per kilogram and full watermelons are actually pretty schecksay but mangoes are the schecksayest of the lot!

Read about Mensa(no, not the SDC canteen in TP). I wanna join. :]

*leaves, suddenly recalling i have work to do, but i don't think i would leave that early since i still haven't surf the net enough and yeah i need to bathe before doing that i feel that this is so incoherent but the cerebral clicking continues and so my fingers move across the keyboard and i have no idea when i am going to stop but i guess now, after the asterisk yeah it should be so but whoa typing like this is addictive although it makes me look like i can hold my breath really well but anyway gotta jump*

Sunday Revival

I am starting a vocabulary bank, just like how missus Soong forced us to in Primary Five, but this time round it is voluntary.

Within my new notebook which features an animated cover.

'OPEN' by Lisa Moore, wunderhfool.


Ow my head is bursting with too much sleep. Which in between i rejected my employer to go to work.


BEST (Denki) is a very good place for post-school entertainment. Xbox and all that WWE shit. Impressive.

Confessions Of A Disturbed Sales Associate

Yes i refuse to use 'sales_____'.

Second half of the boss, and i am fifteen sparkly pristine minutes late.

Sawreh! I lost my way! Reallee!!!1111111onetwo

Verdict.

I don't talk to customers. :(

I was never meant for this life. Retail life. It is so. Pfft. Mundane is not even near. I need some extremity. Something constantly moving. I am so not interested in varicose veins.

Soli boss, CMI, i will make you lose money if you continue to have me.

I grant you permission to sack me. =XDEFG

Furthermore the place is heavenly quiet even on a Sunday. Since i am naturally shy, i can only make friends with the mannequins by walking around them. They have names. The two females being Indiana and Lucia, the male ones Lily and Hibiscus(they look pretty gay, even without the heads), in relation to the products they have on them.

I know retail seems a really easy job. Not for me though. Staying up late surfing through myspace on local bands makes it worse. I don't even have the energy to smile/talk. With the opposite Noobie-er, i mean, Newbie-shop blasting sweetie-pie Taiwan music, i could have cried.

Chicken rice(pretty good) made things better though.

Oei stranger(or whoever you are), i am not whining. I don't. I.AM.JUST.DISTURBED?!?!?!?!///////

Zed. Drats. Dregs.

I feel like punching someone. Interested applicants please leave a message on the tagboard. I am not responsible for any injuries/casualties though. Won't die one lah!


If it weren't for the money.

First Impressions Don't Matter

After waiting at HF bus interchange for half an hour wishing i was in the sky(cable car; i am not Nathan Petrelli), i finally stepped aboard the freeeging bus. The bus driver took fifteen minutes to shut off the engine, get down the two steps, walk to the toilet, unzip his pants(no, no, see no evil), P-E-E, zip it back, walk out of the toilet, walk back to the bus, and switch on the engines.

Very impressive.

Ten minutes late and i didn't call to inform, cause i was pretty captivated by the onroad scenery. And what a way to meet one half of my employer for the first time.

Rambles into the shop, "Sorry i'm late".

"Can you put your bag down".

PLONK, wee bit too loud perhaps.

"Can you tidy up your hair, it's very messy".

HELL NO, BITCH! IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!111111onetwo STYLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111

Obviously the above sentence is not in inverted commas so you get it i guess.

Snoreszxzxzzsxzsz.

Nothing peculiar really.

And so i embarked on the journey home. Opp Catholic JC omg that place is so romantic w0rsxxzsxzsxz. After waiting for half an hour or so(i tend to exaggerate in moments of injustice), the 156 came flying in the speed of light. I got up i SWEAR, to let the blindo driver see there is a person standing right before him, but he zoomed past meh. Nehmind, he looked back in agony(say 'awwwwwwwwwww') and the last moments before he turned back to the road i mouthed the seven sinful words. Certainly hope he saw it.

While we end the daily recorded events, we proceed. Just 'proceed' p-r-o-c-e-e-d yes.


Case Study 1: Increase In Rheumatism Cases by 2041
By 2041, an estimated 76% of the age group 50-80 would suffer from rheumatism. Scientists have observed that the less-than-generous seats in public buses will be a contributing factor to the increase of cases of the disorder which the aged are most prone to...

The findings suggest that majority of the 76% take buses on a daily basis, while those from the remaining quarter use private transport or take the train more regularly than taking the bus...

A survey conducted by the Centre Of Old People's Illnesses reveals that more than 67% of the population finds that the bus seats are too tightly-spaced apart for comfort...

Dr. Boo Har See, an osteoporosisist from BHS Limited & Co. Ptd. explains that when the knee comes tight with the back of the seat from where the subject is seated, combined with the staccato braking of the buses(due to errant bus drivers tyvm), bone tissues get worn off, as shown in the image below. In prolonged circumstances, the knee cap may cease to exist, or rather, become extinct in future generations due to natural selection and evolution.

(you get the picture :])

Dr. Boo's clinic has seen an increase in the amount of patients seeking treatment for rheumatism, where in serious cases patients have to get their legs amputated. Adults as young as 36 years old have came forward to seek treatment as well, which leads Dr. Boo to think that premature aging comes into the picture as well...

However, not all is lost. Dr. Boo suggests taking the train over the bus. Otherwise, you can have your legs surgically shortened at his branch clinic which specialises in cosmetic surgery. The last resort is not to go out at all, because after all we live in a very dangerous planet.

At the end of the day, it's all about caring for your body, Dr. Boo says.

Remember, as the old saying goes, "prevention is better than cure".



ASTERISK-ASTERISK-ASTERISK.



VERY IMPORTANT NOTICE: DO NOT CONTINUE IF YOU ARE AGAINST RACISM. (Who cares i don't believe you won't like when i ask you to play my songs do you play no right so whatever i just want to make use of this chance to type without restrictions and anyway i didn't mean i am racist with the above statement thanks)


Case Study 2: Different Moral & Aesthetic Values In Our Countrymen?
It is not the first time that a difference between the different races has surfaced in sunny Singapore. After all, we are a young country with past examples of racial conflicts...

The matter at hand involves people asking "do our darker('darkest' is more appropriate)-skinned companions think they smell good?". An anonymous writer has written to The Straightjacket Times about his/her negavity about "how they smell". Our anonymous writer expressed that he/she feels that our darker-skinned buddies(DSB) "thinks they smell good, but they actually pollute the air". Below is an excerpt of the letter from him/her, as requested by the reader himself/herself.

"
Dear Sir/Madam,

I was on the bus on my way home the other night. Everything was fine until one of our darker-skinned buddies(i call them DSB) came aboard. She was sitting directly in front of me and immediately(well, almost) i caught a whiff of the 'typical' smell coming from her. Mind you, it comes in successive waves!

I mean, i've had this question for years. Do our DSBs really think they smell good? It is so prevalent that it has lead me into thinking that it is a mating scent. In addition, it is more strongly spotted(sniffed) on adults. However, social experiment(s) and discussion(s) have proven otherwise. I can only conclude that DSBs' are trained since young to accept the fact that this is how they should smell like.

On the other hand, it is a relief that certain more compassionate and self-conscious ones move to the back of the vehicle. I utmostly appreciate and applaud their samaritanical efforts.

I just need a place to rant. I do not have any intention of starting a racial conflict.

TYVM.

Ex's and Oh's,
An Anonym

"

Fridge time.

Making It Work

Hi.

So. Zed how do i start this.

Okayokayokay fast forward ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM yay!

Pardon me. I have writer's/designer's block.

And so i found a faster way to w-w-w-w-w-w-wwwwwwork. And there'd always be secondary school boys coming up the bus. And goodness they smell bad really. Why didn't i realise that. Must be my in-the-front-of-the-class seat; diffusion never succeeds in shifting the smell from the back.

So royalty's town food village. OMG memories!!!!!!!!~!~!~!~~ How do i explain this. Okay it's just that i used to follow my father around work when i was young, and here is one of those memorable places. And so i had fishball noodles for the first time in MONTHS shit man waddafargue. Yes by myself. Wondering if all the adults work this way, doing everything alone, with maybe only two insects crawlies accompanying them on the dining table. Really. So anyway. It felt really weird to have your stuff served to you, after months of hiding in the Designers' Pad. Really. Peculiar. Talk about excellent customer service; i think the older generation knows better.

Man it was so nolstagic i could have died. The drinks stall blasting FM95.8(say 'EE!' now), auntie coming around to collect moneh, just pure fan system instead of the fugly air-conditioners, and stray cats coming around. And the fresh fruits stall, trust me, it is totally fresh. Somehow i am unwilling to trust pseudo-kopitiams(deep-set irony!) with their murderous prices and
okay-only-to-keep-your-stomach-full food. OHOHOHOH and rainbow jelly as well. Sweet.

Oh good old confectionaries.

I know! I didn't know that i was from that old a generation. Har. While many people have turned angmoh for good, i refuse to let go of my hokkien songs. EEE DID I JUST SAY THAT. Yes i did. Believe it or not i go to getais.

And so i am in limbo. Too many influences clashing into oneself. Tsktsktsk. Must be the reason why i can relate to people from any level of society. Ethel W'H'ee can totally testify to that.

And so the limbo hangs on, but there'll always be balance.

Ahhhhhh and the royal arcade.

Ohman i never fail to amaze myself.

Anyway, reported on time despite almost being knocked down by a double-decker.

I am so traumatised. This caucasian mother and daughter came into the shop, and they were trying to get someone else a top. And i was forced to try on a SPAGHETTI TOP, V-NECK somemore. I have never been so humiliated before!!!!!!!!!1111112 :'(((((((((((((

See image below for more details.

[yes my technical expertise remains humbly at paint. (HEY AT LEAST I USE BRUSHES!)]

And indeed i am upset. Very. Scarred for life.

Blahblahblahblah hit the button again.

So in a moment of gei-kiangness tried to make full use of concession and take the bus home. But apparently i overshot by mani mani mani stops w0rsxzsxz.

And nevermind it's the first time. And i got home earlier than the blardee recommendation from sbstransit. Ha n00b and lousaye iris journey planner.

Consolation was i finally, finally, FINALLY found the chocolate-vanilla chupa chups, right at seven-eleven. It's a store and more. YESSSSSSSSSSS childhood fantasy. Doesn't taste as good as before, seems more like lychee(you won't be surprised; now milo tastes like nescafe) to me. BUT I don't care Choc/Vanilla pwns them all n00b flavours.

One day i will bring my dog to the mall. But first i have to get a dog. Whoa how cool is it, alaskan malamute in the mall.

Gah can't believe my weekend is gonna be on the chopping block. Where is the humanity?!?!?!////// Ohmy the idiosyncrasies of life. I still have yet to finish exploring the green line. Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.

Long-winded? Yes.




A second. If you happen to pass by any poster involving mister selamat, please observe a moment of silence and look at it. Try to get the photoshop flaws. Next time maybe, i'll steal home one of the posters and do a show-and-tell.


I am starting to suspect that there is a labyrinth of ant tunnels tucked deep under my keypad.

While you ponder over this wicked theory, let's reignite our enthusiasm for the space and galaxy.


Discovery - First Time Machine


I know it's not related, but do you know that a day on Venus is equivalent to eight earth months?


Sounds good to me.

If the unsightly protrusions on the skin you call pimples are equivalent to flakes of gold, my face would be a filthy(not-the-perfect-adjective but owell) rich gold mine.

And of course i'm not showing it to the world.

Either way, acne doesn't actually make you rich, does it?


I should start getting a before-twelve lifestyle.

Oh who am i trying to kid, MYSELF?! Check out the schecksay digits less than 2cm away from this sentence.

Okay, like.

Here.

One Way Or Another

"Customer service-oriented".

1. Become a better person, sevenfold, by friday.
2. Screw it up.
   

Dadumladidootadumdablahlalala.


Owells no more incubusation. adam levine it shall be.

Pledge to go fur-free at PETA.org

http://www.furisdead.com/feat/ChineseFurFarms/


Fuck. Of all the live cooking of cats/bludgeoning of seals, this is the worst.

OMG FUCK. When i have enough money i will fly to China and skin these fuckers alive. No. I will stab them a million times and wait for ten minutes before skinning them alive.

KNNBCCB fuckers.


Dang inner beng.


P.S. I am not, in any way, a vehement supporter of PETA or their campaigns/activities; i'm just judging on the undercover videos themselves, how some dumbasses treat animals like shit. Some statements PETA makes aren't exactly clever, anyway. Though i hope putting my name on the dang list helps.

Degeneration Of The World And Its People

And so there is The Rise of The (Unneccesary) Symbols.

As if twiiting wasn't enough, the new generation of smileys/symbols/another-way-to-self-destruct touchdowns. So yesterday's !,@,$,+, & have evolved to stuff like
1. ღ
2. ♥
3. ツ
4. ☆

So they use japanese characters as well. Wasn't too difficult to obtain these. Straight from twiits' msn nicknames or lian wannabes ' friendster profiles. Delicious. Yes. And this

(̅_̅_̅_̅(̲̲̲̲̲̅̅̅̅̅̅(̅_̅_̲̅м̲̅a̲̅я̲̅l̲̅b̲̅o̲̅r̲̅o̲̅̅_̅_̅_̅()

appears very much on msn nicknames, like since 2006.

I can't fathom those people who say they are under the process of 'zilian'-ing and still put that as their photo captions. Same case for 'camwhore'. And if you think you look 'ugly' in a particular photo, why even bother uploading it and wasting five minutes of your blardee life?

Okay nehmindnehmind let them degenerate.

Seems like photoshopped photos are BEEEEEEEEG right now. Especially those kind which turns you into green/red/yellow/orange and all the other weird shades. I can't use my Adobe software and that may be a problematic issue, but i'm not in jest, just that i don't like those too.

Proceeding to story of the post.

Do not continue unless you are on your deathbed/falling asleep/in a state of subconsciousness.


The Search for the Man

Julian Hee, Manhunt 2002

Isaac Mong, Manhunt 2006


Gordon Tan, Manhunt 2008

Mas Selamat Kastari, Manhunt 2009

(And it's pretty intensive!!!!!!!!!!11111111two3four)

Wellwell the candidates seem to get worse by the year don't they.





Lolol man this project virtually destroyed my day. Nehmind, considering it's late.

By now i hope you have realised that it is a joke, and that you have overcame the shock.

I was thinking, why not check out the guys from Manhunt and see if they are comparatively hot. Disappointing, and i doubt anyone will disagree. Winners get visibly older and fuglier as years pass by. Tsktsk. Applies to JI(chicken) dood as well.


Anw found this from here.

MANHUNT SINGAPORE (1988 - 2004)

1988	RANDY LOO ENG SENG
1989	ZACK ZAINAL ABIDIN
1990	CALVIN FOO KWEE FOH
1991	IGNATIUS TEO BOON PEW
1992	MICAH WONG EN TECK
1993	KENNETH TAN MUN CHOY
1994	BENEDICT GOH WEI CHEH	3rd Runner-up & Mr Personality
1996/97	KEVIN KHOO MIN CHUEN
1998	FRANCIS CHUA
1999	EDDIE OH M. Y	Mr. Physique & Mr. Popularity
2000	BRANDON CHOO	2nd Runner up - Manhunt International and Best Groomed Award
2001	TAN WEI JIN
2002	JULIAN HEE	Mr. Healthy Lifestyle
2003/04	GEORGE CHEN KIM SHEONG
2006	ISAAC MONG	Mr. Popularity
2007	ELSON GOH ZHEN WEI
2008	GORDON TAN

I don't think it serves any use actually; just for the aesthetics ya know. The longer the better. Teeheeheehee.

Anyway, time to do a proper one on Mister Headlines.

I find it pretty lame for an almost-lame man to escape a frigging high-security DETENTION CENTRE. Yeah good, throw our face. All of you bullshit civil servants can't outrun a limping chestnut, or can't see someone not dressed up in uniform limp away gracefully. Wot's the blardee problem man.

And so this website criticises the local security.

When i got the news on Thursday i had this premonition that Selamat won't get arrested. EEEE!~ And what the hell is it with all the elaborate operations. Haven't they heard of the old saying?! I know those are the basic things to do, but if i were Selamat, i would hide until it's safer to go.

He's prolly watching the news from a kopitiam teevee now with a cap covering his face. Or hiding out in one of the attap houses at the Buangkok kampung. Or the haunted house at Punggol End!

The next time we get news of him will most likely be of his body floating on Changi Beach or someone sniffing out his dead body in the lush greenery of Lower Seletar Reservoir. Or a set of skeletons belonging to him in the haunted house ten years later. I secretly wish for an exciting chasing-the-criminal escapade a la Catch Me If You Can but current circumstances don't really allow. Most wanted militant can. Eh but, Selamat versus DiCaprio hahahahaharofl. It's hard to spot him really since he looks like any other local malay. His height of 1.6m is not anywhere impressive either.

Lololol and there's this 58-year-old attention seeker who called the police from a public phone saying he is Selamat and threatening to blow up multiple places.

Considering IF they manage to get him alive, just lock him up in some asylum. Even if he isn't mad, lock him up until he suffers from permanent mental damage.

Seems like we are all dying of either rising sea levels from melting ice caps(soon!!!!!!!!11) or from some no-brain terrorist limping around.


Whatever happened to bad guys looking good.

Sylar, good old Sylar.


How Indie Are You? Emo?




I'm calling myself now cause i think my ringtone kicks ass. Totally. :]

March 2, 2:50.